"...Grows as God causes it to grow"

I went on a women's retreat recently and our theme verse was Colossians 2:19 in which I was reminded that the body "grows as God causes it to grow".  God used just these words to remind me that Trae is growing how He caused him to grow.  I can't worry about how he grows because God has caused him to grow the way that he is growing.  I don't think that I worry about his growth anymore but I do worry about how to care for him  I want to make sure that he is going to receive all the best services so that he reaches his potential.  I have to remember though that what I think his potential and what God's potential for him may be different so when things don't turn out the way I think they should its because God has a different plan than mine.

So now that you have been updated some of the things that have been swimming around in my head it's time for the update about Trae's development.  In the last blog we had an ultrasound with Dr. J and weren't really pleased with the information (or lack of information) that we received.  Dr. Welt agreed to see us to ensure that everything is going well.  Trae is growing well.  His organs are developing normally as they have been.  Trae was moving quite quickly during this ultrasound.  Dr. Welt was able to get a good measurement of his femur (thigh bone) and this has caught up.  If you remember there was some concern that it as short.  We were very thankful for this.  Due to the Trae's quick movement it was hard to see his bottom leg bones though so there is some question about the cause of the swelling in his feet.  The swelling has not increased which is also a praise.  There was some thought about the swelling being caused by the leg bones being too far apart which would affect the development of the cartilage that would form his knees but Dr. Welt explained that it is really hard to tell why his feet are swollen.  This will most likely have to wait until his birth to determine accurately.  So really everything is going very well! We are starting to discuss delivery as it was explained that there is not a lot of information about how to get a child without arms out of the womb.  I would really like to have a vaginal birth but there are some things that could affect this.  First he has been breech for most of our ultrasounds and they won't allow me deliver my first child breech.  Then there is question as to whether his shoulders would cooperate even if he is positioned correctly (explained by Dr. Sarkodie during my appointment on Monday 4/23).  As we continue to pray for everything to remain in God's will for Trae's growth we will also be praying about discerning God's will about a healthy delivery. 

I had my sugar test - I failed the one hour test.  Then I sat through the three hour one but I passed this so no diabetes for this girl! Dr. Sarkodie explained that this sometimes indicates that there is something developmentally wrong with the baby's shoulders...I think we figured that out without the sugar testing :) 

Thomas and I are finding the humor in our situation and I know some of you may not be ready for this yet but we feel that this helps us to remain positive (we want this to also encourage you all as well).  Proverbs 31:25 says "She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come" so this lets me know that our humor is a characteristic that is pleasing to God as we learn to follow him in the path that he is laid before us.

You make beautiful things...

But the voice of truth tells me a different story
And the voice of truth says "Do not be afraid!"
And the voice of truth says "This is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth

-Casting  Crowns

We have gone to the doctor again.  The Lord answered our prayers about not adding anything new to the mix by allowing everything to stay the same.  Trae is growing normally! This was comforting to us.  I think I have explained that due to the size of the practice we see two doctors, my regular OB and the doctor that examines the ultrasounds.  Even then there are different doctors who examine the ultra sounds our favorite, Dr. Welt, and our not-so favorite, we'll say Dr. J.  When we went to have our most recent ultra-sound done on March 29th Dr Welt was not there.  I had thought that I had made sure that I had scheduled this with Dr. Welt but I must not have communicated my request well so we saw Dr. J.  The ultrasound tech did the ultrasound and then we waited for Dr. J.  The amount of time we waited made me nervous because I began to think that they had found something else.  After what seemed like forever Dr. J came in and immediately asked "what questions do you have".  Well since the tech had not given us much information we needed to know what she had seen; so I asked about the development of the organs.  She assured us that all organs continue to look good.  His femur remains short and his feet swollen but everything else looked good.  

On the same day we had an appointment with my regular OB, Dr. Sarkodie.  Her report was equally as encouraging.  I am growing normally; actually, I am above average where I had been below before.  Trae's heart beat continues to be normal and strong.  She asked about how my ultrasound went and I explained that I had seen Dr. J.  She was not excited to hear this so she let us know that she will review Dr. J's report with Dr. Welt and they will determine if another ultrasound would be needed before the next 4 week appointment.  I did not hear from them by Wednesday when Dr. Sarkodie had said so I called on Thursday.  She returned my call herself (we are so blessed to have such an amazing doctor) and explained that Dr. J's report was incomplete and she wanted more information so Dr. Welt agreed to see me on Wed April 11 for another one.  Dr. Welt did not see anything to be worried about but agreed at the request of Dr. Sarkodie.  So we will have more information then.  Right now we are relishing in the fact that he is growing, has healthy organs, and is moving regularly.  

I heard the song that I quoted above the other day and thanked God for the reminder that we are choosing to follow the voice of truth.  I keep getting confirmation that Trae was given to us for God's purpose.  Thomas and I choose to have a positive attitude because of our faith and our belief that Trae was made beautifully as God saw fit.  We have received so much support from family, church family, and friends that we can not be anything but positive.  (Thank you all for the prayers, notes, etc - you do not know how much they mean) During all of this we were reminded of how blessed we are just to have a child that is growing and flourishing despite his abnormalities which despite the sadness we felt added to our reason to rejoice.  Don't get me wrong we have our worries but there is much to praise God for.  In the Easter story we noticed in Matthew 28:8 that Mary Magdalene and Mary were "afraid yet filled with joy" as they went to tell the disciples about Christ's resurrection in this defining moment in their lives.  Thomas and I agree that Trae and his life will be and already has been one of our defining moments.  We related whole heartedly to the women involved in the Easter story...and on Easter morning no less.